I still love art and photography but fuck, I have been so uninspired and unmotivated for so long now… I’m that fucking uninspired, I’m having to look through old shit I’m over and done with as an attempt (also known as a cry for help) to spark some ideas. This degree ain’t even what I wanna do anymore. Fucking roadblock!!! Urgh! Like, I still wanna be an artist but there’s so much going on right now, other things I wanna do and I just can’t get my head around focusing back into art and photography again. What the actual fuck has happened to me? Blarrrrgh. I could’ve been great. Ahhh crap, I’m only 19! Ohh, what an actual loser. Sorry for the vent. I have a crit tomorrow and I haven’t done nada (Surprise, surprise!). No research, experiments, developments or even any ideas. Awesome! Gonna drown myself in coffee until my fucking brain starts to function again and decides to produce some real mind blowing shit that no one else would ever understand but me. Yes. (How I wish)

Hi guys! I’m still in the process of moving into my new house and also getting used to being back at uni. And oh my freakin’ goodness! I have so much work to do already. Plus my room still isn’t the way I want it to be. Anyways, I’ll try to be more active in the few weeks. So yea, ciao for now! x

I’m still alive. Aha! Apologies for the absence. Been too busy preparing for our exhibit on the 27th. So you know, go figure! Anyway, I still need to finish my last piece and then draw on my prints. Gaaaaaaahhhhh. Too lazy for life. I think I will forever ask myself the traditional question during exhibit prep time: “Why am I even an art student?” Baaaa!

Earlier, I tweeted that I wanted to do the front cover of my A4 sketchbook before 7am. And hey, I actually did it! Yey! I really hope this positive vibe sticks and I’d start moving forwards instead of going downhill all the time. Also, I should set short goals for myself more often so I can actually get shit done. Uhh, can’t wait to transform this book and make it all bulky and artsy-fartsy!

Genuinely need to focus my energies on going to classes and lectures, spending time in the studios to do some actual work and trying not to scrape a pass but actually be proud of what I come up with this year. Gaaaahhhhdammit! I know I have what it takes, it’s just a matter of actually bringing it and using it. Raaaaa. Always frustrated.

Just realized I haven’t had a single photoshoot this year. Why do I keep going downhill?

Gotta dig deep and find inspiration before this semester ends. I lack motivation and focus, but I love art. It won’t suffice, but it has too. At least for now.

Went to a black and white film processing workshop today which was mandatory for my course. Reminded me of how amazing it is to shoot in b/w analog especially when you process everything yourself. I miss the darkroom. Maaan, it’s been a while.

I haven’t produced real work in agesss! Not since I left college. Gotta hustle and get my hands dirty. Dammit!

Starting to realize how different uni is from college, education-wise. Entirely on my own. Total independency. The funny thing is, I love it just as much as I hate it. I mean c’mon, I get to whatever I want which is yey cool but at the same time, it’s almost comparable to being thrown in an open space with nothing to hold onto. It’s so easy to lose grip of what’s afloat and what’s sinking. Yea whatever. Art ain’t a game but everyone’s playin.

Struggling Art. Stumble and Fall.

Remind me again why people procrastinate? Tsss. Beating myself up by tryna pull an all-nighter whilst with a cough and a cold to finish a project that I should’ve started and finished ages ago. And when I say ages, I mean I had at least a month and a half to do it. Gonna nominate myself as the worst art student ever! Who’s willing to second the motion? Hahahaha! And yea, I know… I should really get on with it rather than create this post that most of you probably won’t even read. Ayt. Ciao! xx